Cooper's eleven
by Sam of shadowdale
Summary: Dr. M has the Thevius Raccunus! Worse, he has it in the most fortified place on the planet. Only a crack team of 11 of the best theives can retrive this legacy of the Cooper family.
1. Chapter 1

I've brainstormed madly, and finally a Sly Cooper plot has emerged.

Disclaimer: If I owned Sly, this wouldn't be a fic, it would be a game.

**Prologue: A good cop gone bad**

Constable Cooper hurried past the yellow tape at the entrance of the museum. The normal cops had no idea who had committed the robbery, except that all the security guards had been killed in slow and often gruesome ways. So the had to call Interpol, for a 'criminal specialist'.

Sly chuckled as he thought of his job title. After duping Carmelita into believing that he had amnesia, she had gotten him a job at Interpol (Much to the dismay of certain superiors) on the grounds that you "send a thief to catch a thief". This was in, in a way, effective. Having been in the criminal underworld himself, he recognized the work of most criminals.

However, in this case, he was stumped. No one, not even Muggshot or the Countessa, would intentionally torture guards. He probably wouldn't be much help, but he had been called in, and there was nothing he could do about.

As Sly entered the room of the theft, he could see that he was not the only officer that had been called in. Inspector Fox was already there, as well as, to Sly's dismay, Chief Rob. This mean pug had been at him from the beginning, and didn't buy the amnesia story.

"Well, Cooper, you sure took your time!" Rob said gruffly. "Honestly, you act like this whole thing's a game. Well it isn't! Now get your head in the game, and tell me who you think did this!"

Sly held back the bile gathering in this throat and turned to Carmelita.

"I need some more information on the case. Carmelita, what exactly was stolen?"

"Some gem called the Atlantis Key. It's supposed to open the door to an underwater kingdom, but they probably just stole it for money. It's supposed to be as much as some small countries income."

"There was one piece of evidence." Said Chief Rob. He than pulled out a tape. "Lets watch it fast; I don't want to miss my shows."

He then put the tape into a supplied VCR. As he did, a face appeared on the screen.

Sly's blood ran cold.

"Hello, son of Cooper."

It was Doctor M.

"If you are getting this message, then I have succeeded in distracting you." The monkey taunted. "Upon returning home, you will find that a rather valuable piece of writing is gone."

Sly ground his teeth. He realized exactly what Dr. M had stolen. After all his hard work, the Thevieus Raccunus had been stolen once again.

"Since I'm a civilized person, I'll give you a clue as to where it is hidden. It has something to do with this robbery. Can't guess? You really aren't much without Bentley, are you?" The ape cackled madly. Then he continued. "You can't even do a decent amnesia impression!" With that, the tape ended.

Chief Rob roared triumphantly. "I knew it!" He said. "I knew we were being lied to! Cuff him, Inspector Fox."

Carmelita just stared at Sly, on the verge of tears. "How could you?" She sobbed.

Sly wanted, more than anything, to reassure her, but he could see three of Interpol's ape mercenaries, and needed to go.

He dashed through the museum, and out the door, but as he did, an ape with a jetpack saw him. The merc leapt through the air toward him…

…and was pulled high into the air by a grappling hook that seemed to come out of the sky. Sly spotted an R.C. chopper flying overhead. _Penelope,_ he thought. _But how…_

At that moment, a van swerved around the corner. A van with a familiar insignia.

"Jump in, little buddy!" yelled Murray from the drivers seat. The back of the van swung open, and Sly bolted in. Several Apes almost made it to the van, but Bentley, who was sitting in his wheelchair in the back of the vehicle, sniped them with sleep darts.

"How did you find out?" Sly asked.

"Dr. M is a showoff." Said Bentley. "He sent us all warnings that this would happen. Sly, what are we going to do? Imagine what Dr. M could do with that book!"

Sly looked back at the museum. "We're getting it back." He said grimly. "And then we're taking him down."

**Saying we would deal with Dr. M wasn't good enough, obviously. Bentley had solved Dr. M's riddle: He was using the Atlantis Key to raze the sunken ruin from the depths. Most of the mythology around this place says that breaking in is really difficult, and with Dr. M running the place, impossible.**

** Getting in would require a gang even better than the one we originally robbed this guy with. But that monkey had just stolen my new life, and I was going to pay him back in full.**


	2. Menace o' da Islands, mon 1

**By Bentley's calculations, and Murray's request, we decided that it would be best to get the Guru back on our side. Apart from the fact that he had helped Murray out a rough time in his life, his mystic powers had helped us greatly in the Cooper vault job. His mastery of the Dreamtime gave him the capability to blend in with his surroundings, and even possess those foolish enough to disturb his corner of the outback. He would be an invaluable asset during the Atlantis job.**

**However, when we reached New York, were he had gone to avoid the media following his rock star student, he was nowhere to be found.**

**I called in some favors, and discovered that he was on an archipelago off the coast of Jamaica, known as the Poseidon harbor.**

**The reason? Apparently, the dreamtime spirits had told him that he needed to go there to clear out the local mystic, Ziguthaga, or Ziggy. From what we've heard, he was abusing the mystic forces, so the Guru went to stop him. However, from Penelope's surveillance, we discovered that Ziggy wasn't alone. He had managed to gather a legion of fanatical cultists that would die before letting anyone harm their leader.**

**I had no interest with going to war with a bunch of tribal freaks, but if we wanted to get the Guru, we had no choice but to move in. Without his magic power, we were as good as failed.**

**Sly…**

**And the Gang…**

**In…**

**Menace o' da Islands, mon**

Sly slide down a wet vine as he left the safe house. He truly had no idea where the Guru would be, but he was certain that Bentley would have a plan. Sure enough, the binocucom started buzzing. Sly hurriedly picked it up.

"Alright, Sly," said Bentley. "Our first objective is to find the Guru.

"That makes sense," Sly replied, "But how am I supposed to do that? The little guy can turn into shrubs, and I don't even know where to start looking."

"Not to worry." Bentley said. "Remember that gyrocopter in Australia that could detect the moonstone that the Guru carries around? Well, you may not have noticed, but I picked up some pieces of the machinery after it was destroyed, and I'm pretty sure I can still get it to work. But it may take a while. While I'm getting it ready, you may want to take a picture of Ziggy. It may help to know what were up against." With that, the binocucom switched off.

Sly quickly climbed up another vine, getting to the top of the tree. He then worked his way through the dense foliage to reach the temple at the center of the island. As soon as he did, all of he worries about not finding Ziggy vanished at that moment.

"Let the Nightmare spirits here our praise!" yelled a chameleon standing on top of the temple. "Let the faithful dream in ecstasy, and the heathens scream in the pit of terror!"

"So much for missing the bad guy." Sly mumbled. He then took out his binocucom and took a picture.

"Hmmm." Bentley said over the binocucom. "His staff has those masks on the end of it. Wonder why? Oh, and by the way, I think I found the Guru. He's that bush on the north edge of the village with the big, red leaves."

Without a moment's hesitation, Sly jumped down from the tree and found the bush that Bentley had told him about.

"Guru?" he asked. The bush shushed him loudly. Sly then noticed a pair of cultists moving toward them.

"Hey, little raccoon mon!" one yelled. "You ain't a brotha o' da Nightmare. You betta come with us, ya?"

Before Sly could even make a snappy remark, the bush leapt to life and jumped on one of the guards. The said guards began to beat down the other and than rammed himself into a tree. A short koala hit the ground next to Sly.

"Hubbitaza, da hazaza, hasazasazsa!" Guru said indignantly.

"Yeah, I know I should be more careful." Sly replied. "Look, I know your on a mission, but we need you in the gang again."

"Akkah?" Guru asked. "Hubittiza, hasa? Hasiccitiza, as mahippitiza.

"Yeah, I figured you'd need some help with this." Sly said. "Okay, lets get back to the safehouse. With any luck, Bentley already has a plan."

More to come later. Keep the reviews coming!


	3. Menace o' da Islands, mon 2

Sorry about the wait. School needs to die.

**Erickdragon101:** You are awesome. The Stalker was a work of art, so if you think this is good, it must be continued!

**The Dragon Warrior:** Glad you like it. You and 'Skip' keep reading, it's gonna get better.

**Heiduska: **Sorry, I guess I kind of blew the ending to Sly 3. Take your time reviewing.

**Alhandana Twyblade:** Being related to me does not give you the right to threaten me (though nice Octavio reference…..)

**Demontheif:** Ummm…thanks.

**SmashQueen: **(smirks back) Okay then. Presto Descripto! (waves wand around while nothing happens) Fine, I'll do it the hard way. (sulks).

**Invisible Cloud:** Ohhhh, don't worry. I have plans for her! (snickers).

**Xhavius: **I am willing to put up with any complaints you have, but as you can see, waving a wand does not description make. I'll have to work on it by hand.

**Disclaimer: Cooper isn't mine, and I'm not saying that again unless someone complains.**

Normal

_Bentley telling cooper gang what to do via slides_

**Sly monologues**

Aaaaand, on with the fic!

_Using the information that the Guru has given us, I have determined the secrets of Ziggy's 'Nightmare spirits: They don't exist. Apparently, he's tapping dreamtime energy using that staff he carries around. However, that lunatic is constantly surrounded by guards, making a frontal assault impossible. However, I think I know another way this can be handled._

_ The power of the staff comes from the three masks that are on top of it. The Guru has determined that the only way this is possible is if there are three other masks powering the three on the staff from close by. _

_Thanks to Penelope's reconnaissance, I've located the first mask on one of the nearby islands. We may have some trouble getting through the guard ships around the island, but not much. Then, it'll be up to Sly to get through the deathtrap tunnel in front of the mask. Sly, once you have, grab the mask and get out of there. Now, here's the most important part of the plan: When Sly brings the mask back, I'll hook it up to a Bad Mojo generator I just got from Theifnet. When all three masks are on, it'll blow Ziggy sky high. Then we can get out of here._

Murray lumbered out to the shore of the tropical island and looked out at the sea. Its peaceful surface was devoid of waves and calm as anything that he had ever seen.

"Boooring!" he yelled. "When do we get to blow stuff up? 'The Murray' grows impatient!"

"Hold your horses, big guy." Bentley said via binocucom. "Our first objective is to reach the first island, not start a fight with the entire cult."

"Yeeah, I don't get that." Said Murray. "None of us can swim, and the island the mask is on is so far away. How is Sly, or any of us, gonna get there?"

"Murray, Murray, Murray." Bentley said. "You didn't really think that I had forgotten the need for sea transportation, did you? Look at the edge of the island."

Murray nodded. "Okay, but I still don't see-"

And then his jaw dropped opened.

Of the edge of the island came the pirate ship that they had stolen from Lafwee, but if Murray hadn't been on it for so long, he would not have recognized it. It had heavy armor plating, what looked like energy turrets where the cannons had been, and a motor on the back in addition to the sails. Had the sails not been there, it would have looked more like something out of WW1.

"So, Murray, what do you think?" Bentley asked. But there was no response. "Murray? Murray, are you there?"

Murray watched the ship with tears coming to his eyes. A single word escaped his lips.

"Nautical."

After the Cooper gang got Murray to stop staring at the pirate ship gone giant world war one death machine and drive it, they set sail for the first island. Bentley was busy going over his plans for braking into Atlantis, Murray was singing an unintelligible song as he piloted the ship, Penelope was below deck working on some new RC gizmo, and the Guru was sitting cross-legged on the deck, meditating.

Only Sly was miserable. He thought abut the last few years he had spent with Carmelita. Soon, as he recounted the last time he saw her, his misery turned to rage. At that moment, he realized that it wasn't enough to get the Thevius Racoonus back. Dr. M would pay.

As soon as they reached the first Island, Bentley noticed a pair of problems.

"As you can see, the crescent shape of the island makes only one part of it accessible, and it's blocked by a heavy metal gate. Also, there is a pair of guards on the walls with magnetizer guns, so if we get closer with the ship they could shut the entire thing down. However, the guns are akin to shotguns in that they don't shoot up very well, so I think that Penelope should take them out with her RC chopper."

"Roger, handsome." Penelope said, and began assembling her chopper for battle.

Mike, one of the geckos on the entry gate, was worried.

He had no rational cause to be, even if there was a giant, metal pirate ship on the horizon. He new that he and his watch partner could magnetize it before it got into firing range, but he couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that something was about to happen. Suddenly, he heard his partner scream.

Penelope was in some trouble. She had no difficulty getting over to the gate-she probably could have gotten there without her monitor-and hooking the first guard was a cakewalk. But she was experiencing some 'technical difficulties that kept her from diverting her attention to the other gunner'. In other words, the pincer on her tow hook had frozen up.

"Bentley, help me!" She screamed. "I can't let go of this guy!"

"Try shaking him around. Maybe it'll come loose!" he yelled back.

Penelope began furiously wiggling the joystick on her controller. Then two things happened at once. The first was that in the flailing of the chopper, Penelope had crashed the gecko on the end of the hook into the other one. The second was at that moment, the pincer decided to unfreeze. The combination sent both geckos tumbling into the sea.

"Well….that works." Bentley said. "So, the guards are down, now how to deal with the gate?" His eyes scanned the sea for a while, and then lit up. He turned to the Guru.

"Hey Guru," Bentley said while pointing out to sea. "Do you see that spray coming up from the water?"

"Akka? A, Hizibaza cazas a hadadada." The Guru replied.

"Precisely, a humpback whale. Now, I've calculated that something that size could probably break the gate down if it collided at ramming speed. So I'll need you to take control of the beast and slam it into the gate. That should provide us with an entrance to the island's center." Bentley explained.

"Jump into my arms, master. If there's one thing 'The Murray' is good at, it's chucking stuff!" Murray yelled.

The Guru, looking incredibly nervous, hopped into the position for Murray to throw him. True to his word, Murray was good at throwing stuff. The Guru landed almost perfectly on the whale's back. He then began taking control of his mind. Once he was finished, he prepared to ram.

Joe had been sent out from the center of the island to investigate what had happened to the guards on the gate. He never found out, but he did get the surf of a lifetime as the gate crashed down.

"Okay, Sly. Now that we're in, your gonna have to go on alone." Bentley said via binocucom.

Sly looked around him. They had put him down on the island in front of what looked like a huge temple/cave. The entrance looked like a giant lizard head with it's mouth open.

"I'm going in." Sly said evenly.

As soon as he entered the cavern, he new that Ziggy didn't expect anyone to get this far. The only obstacle was a gaping pit between him and the mask. Impassible to most, but as Sly noticed the large rock spikes coming up from the ground, he realized that it wasn't, to a Cooper. He Ninja spire jumped along the points, grabbed the mask, and headed toward the shore.


	4. Menace o' da Islands, mon 3

Sorry. I am now planning a way to go back in time and kill whoever invented school.

Hunter: It's mostly cause he's lazy…Ow!

Sam: You deserved that

Disclaimer: I dinnae own this.

Hunter: let's get the fic started already!

Sam: Okay! Roll!

_I got some bad news. It looks like after our theft of the fist mask, Ziggy has pulled out all the stops. The next island is under much heavier guard, and the guards are carrying high powered stun rifles. If we're gonna get in there, we're gonna hafta use disguise._

_ Murray, you'll need to take out a guard near the dock, but you'll have to do it quietly. If anyone notices someone is missing, they'll raise the alarm and this whole thing will fall apart. Next, Sly will take the guards uniform and use it to sneak up to the temple with the mask. Remember, Sly, once you get the mask, they'll be on to you, so you'll need to run. _

_Meanwhile, we have our own problems to deal with. I've picked up two pirate ships on the radar, probably sent by Ziggy. We should be able to deal with them, but don't get cocky. Battle stations!_

Sly looked out at the sea at the shapes of the pirate ships sailing in. As he did, a strange feeling filled him. It was pure, uncontrollable rage. He felt as if he would go insane if they didn't destroy the crews soon.

_Well,_ he thought, _maybe this is how Murray feels._ He laughed to himself, but as he did, he new it was more for his sanity than real humor.

"All hands at the cannons, their comin' in!" yelled Murray. Indeed, the ships were beginning to circle the huge aquatic death machine that the Cooper Gang was in.

Bentley smiled. "Ay, ay, cappin!" he said in the gruffest voice he could. He then began pushing some buttons on a remote in his hand. As he did this, the cannons fired, but, to Murray, Sly, and Guru's surprise, it wasn't cannonballs coming out.

It was laser blasts.

The blasts burned thought the wooden ship and sent it strait to Davey Jones Locker.

Murray stared, mouth agape. Even for someone like him, this power was amazing. Penelope just smiled knowingly. However, as they were admiring their handwork, they failed to notice what the other ship was doing.

In the moment of victory, the other ship had pulled up alongside the front of the huge Cooper battleship. Murray was the first to notice.

"Hey, they got a broadside aimed at the front!" he screamed. "What are we gonna do!"

"This." Bentley said. He pushed a red button on his remote.

And the dragon head at the front of the battleship spewed fire onto the front ship. It then burned to ashes and sunk.

For the second time in one day, Murray was amazed.

Sly walked up the dock of the second island, wearing a pair of sunglasses, a hat with dreadlocks coming out of it, a fake goatee, and dressed as someone going on vacation. After seeing all of the outlandish dress codes on some of his other jobs, this seemed ridiculously casual.

Once again, almost no one tried to stop him as he walked through the jungle. As he neared the door of the temple, a burly lizard blocked his path.

"Hey, mon, you can't just walk in der!" he said roughly.

"Um, Ziggy sent me." Sly said unconvincingly. "I gotta check on the masks, um, mon."

The guard eyed him suspiciously. "Well, mon," he said "if Ziggy sent ya, den you know da password. What is it?"

"Um, surfs up?" Sly said after checking with Bentley. The guard nodded, looking pretty surprised, and let Sly enter the main temple room.

"Stupid fools." He mumbled to Bentley.

"Sly," Bentley said, "work on your accent."

Ignoring Bentley, Sly approached the alter to take the mask….

…and realized that it was gone.

"Looking for this?" a voice on the other side of the room asked. It was an odd voice, like it was going through a voice scrambler. The figure on the other side of the room was non descript. He was dressed like a ninja, with the exception of the cloak over his face. But two things stood out about the fellow: one was the mask he held in his hand.

And the other was the cane at his waist.

As Sly saw the second of these two, the rage within him suddenly rose to a gargantuan level. As the figure fled the temple, he was in hot pursuit.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo, semi cliffhanger.

On another note….THE WAR IS OVER! THE EMPIRE AND REVOLUTION IS DEAD WE NOW WRITE IN HARMONY!


	5. Menace o' da Islands, mon4

Man…I'm always late with this…

Disclaimer: no own

Lets start

Bentley nervously scoured the coast. _Come on, Sly._ He thought _You don't have much time left._ Murray sat on the deck of the ship with him, biting his nails.

"That's it!' He suddenly yelled "They got him, and their sacrificing him to the Nightmare thing and I gotta save him!" He then bounded to the lifeboats.

Bentley sighed. He knew that there was nothing he could have done to stop Murray, but as the alarms all over the island went off, he truly wished that he could.

Sly chased the ninja down the path to the shore. He was amazed by his speed and agility, as they were so advanced that they could have been his. However, most of his emotions were focused on the fact that the dark figure was using a cane identical to that of his family. And this brought on the rage.

Because both of them were very fast, they had reached an area of the coast relatively quickly. To Sly's horror, there was a chopper hovering over the alcove that they were in, most likely his enemy's ride.

"Better luck next time!" he heard the bizarre voice yell.

Then suddenly, a voice was heard. Though actually, it was more of a roar.

"YEEEAAEEAEAEGH!" screamed Murray as he hurled what looked like a huge guard at the ninja. It knocked him flat, and the mask flew from his hands, sliding conveniently towered Sly.

"'The Murray' has unleashed pure smashification once again!" Murray roared. "Now he will unmask the evil scum!"

But before he even finished, the ninja stuck his cane into the air and pressed a switch. Suddenly, the top of the thieving device shot off and hooked on to the bottom of the chopper as it took off.

"We'll meet again, Sly Cooper!" the ninja yelled.

Sly stared at the chopper through red slits.

"Arg!" he screamed.

"What's wrong, little buddy?" Murray asked.

"What's wrong?" Sly said through gritted teeth. "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong, you demented tub of lard! Dr. M is using my family's legacy to train henchmen! That's what's wrong!"

Murray looked at Sly like a child looks at a man who took his favorite toy. His eyes began to well up with tears.

Sly's anger faded. "I'm sorry, Murray…I just…I mean…"

"It's ok." Murray said. "I had anger problems too for a while."

Suddenly a shout rang out.

"Find them!" Ziggy roared. "I will sacrifice all of you to the Nightmare if we do not find them!"

"That," Sly said, "is our cue to leave".

_The time is now, friends._

_I had a hard time thinking of a way that we could get that last mask, considering all the security that came up after Sly's noisy theft. But as it turns out, I did. Here's the plan._

_Penelope and I will float Sly and Guru down to the top of the island on our RC choppers. The Guru claims he has a way to get rid of the guards silently. Next, Murray will blow a hole in the top of the island with the ship. Then Sly jumps in, grabs the mask, I pick him up in the RC, we blow Ziggy through the roof, and get the heck out of here!_

Sly was not pleased.

He wasn't afraid of heights; he had dealt with them before. There was just something about dangling from an RC chopper above the ocean that made him very nervous.

The Guru was not bothered. He was actually enjoying the flight, from what Sly could tell. As they neared the island, Guru yelled into his binocucom "Hazibazibah! Akka, gab bababa!"

"Okay, if you say so." Bentley replied. "I'll circle the island a few times with you."

As he did, the Guru poured a fine powder down on the guards. They began to fall asleep.

"Your full of surprises, Guru." Bentley laughed.

"Watch out!" Murray yelled. "I'm blowin' her top off!" With that, a huge laser blast came from the deck of the ship and cut a clean hole in the side of the temple. Penelope lowered Sly through.

Sly landed at the bottom of the temple, right in front of the mask. He began to walk toward it.

"Well, well, well," a voice echoed. "What do we have here?"

Sly spun around to see Ziggy approaching, his scales black with rage.

"You heathen!" he snarled. "You unbeliever! You scumbag thief! I will teach you what you face when you face the Nightmare!"

Sly sighed exasperatedly. "There is no Nightmare." He said. "You're only tapping Dreamtime energy and calling it a god."

Ziggy sputtered with rage. "How dare you!" he screamed. "In the nightmares name, I shall devour you soul!" Suddenly, he disappeared.

Sly was confused. No one he ever fought had ever delivered something like that and then ran. Suddenly, a sharp pain went off in his stomach.

"You see," Ziggy's voice echoed, "I am all-powerful."

Sly cursed loudly. Ziggy hadn't left, he had become invisible! But suddenly, Sly smiled. He knew he would get just one chance at what he was planning, but he would take it.

"Faker." He mumbled.

"You ignorant-you idiotic- you fool!" Ziggy sputtered.

Directly to the left of Sly.

He swung his cane in that direction and it slammed into something solid. Ziggy became visible again, and as he hit the floor and screamed in pain, Sly grabbed the final mask and ran out

**It was tough, and painful, but we had the masks. I actually thought I heard Ziggy scream as we blew the island. I liked that. But it really scared me that I did. My anger is out of control these days. Maybe the Guru can help….**

**Speaking of him, the Guru decided to rejoin the gang as thanks for our help. As an extra thanks, he treated us to two weeks of relaxation on the beach. Ether way, we're glad to have our mystic back.**

Well, I finished this segment. I'm really looking forward to writing the next, so updates should come faster.


	6. Lucha Larceny intro

I hope my updates will be as frequent as this in the future.

Ziggy: lazy unbeliever.

Me: hits in stomach with Sly cane.

Ziggy: falls over cursing

Disclaimer: who actually reads this….I don't own this.

AAAaaaaaaaaand, go!

**I wasn't keen on the idea, but we needed a peerless explosives expert again, and the only man for the job was the Panda King. Even though he helped us in the Cooper vault job and earned my trust, I still would be happy if I never had to set eyes on him again. He killed my family, and that pain doesn't leave with one job. Also, we had helped him save his daughter, so as far as I cared, we were even. But Bentley said he was the only one who could do this, so I took his word.**

**However, when we got to China, we discovered that he was gone. We asked around, and discovered that, in meditation, the Panda King saw that he must defeat a certain warrior in Spain. I just hope he knows what he's up against, because the guy he's looking for is the meanest fighter in the business: El Diablo Loco, The Mad Devil.**

**Apparently, the Devil started out legit. His father owned this huge outdoor theater business, until he was mysteriously poisoned a few years ago. The Devil took his fathers business and turned it into a criminal fighting tournament. The prize for the winner is huge, but only if they can defeat the creator of the tournament. If the Panda King wants a crack at him, he'll definitely enter.**

**So the gang suited up and headed for Spain.**

**Sly…**

**And the Gang…**

**in…**

**Lucha Larceny**

Sorry, I know that was short. The next part will be up soon.


	7. Lucha Larceny 1

New update!

Hey, Dragon Warrior, you wanted me to use characters of yours? Do you have an sn? I'd like to use one, but I'd like to tell you how.

Disclaimer: I do not own this franchise, bloodsucking lawyers!

Starting…

Sly had entered many buildings in his day, and in just as many ways. He had gone through windows, down chimneys, and even through sewers. But he was entering the secret fighting coliseum in a way he rarely did. The front door.

Not that this was a major problem. The arena was run by crooks and for crooks, so he wasn't exactly going to be arrested. However, the first face he saw wasn't exactly friendly.

"Cooper." The huge tiger addressed him as he entered. Sly recognized him on site.

"Hello, Rajan." He said smoothly. "What's a rich boy like you doing here?"

"You cocky brat!" Rajan yelled. "How dare you refer to me in that manner after what you did to my finances and standing in society!"

Sly shrugged. "I don't know. From what I've heard, you didn't actually lose that much and-oh, I see. You're just mad that I embarrassed you."

"Embarrassed is not even the word!" the tiger ranted. "Thanks to you, I had to go into permanent hiding! Oh, I was proven innocent in court, but don't think that keeps Interpol from watching you. But now that you're here, Rajan will have his revenge!"

"Only if I do not defeat him first." An Asian voice spoke across the room.

Sly turned in dread. "Hello, Tsou." He said through gritted teeth. Sure enough, the armored rooster stood before him, scowling in rage. Knowing how much of a jerk Tsou was, Sly had a hard time being civil with him.

Tsou snarled at Sly, "I assume that you and your friends plan on winning this through your tomfoolery. I think I shall slay you before we start!"

"If you do," another Asian voice said, "you will be disqualified, and never get your fight with me." Sly turned again, and saw his old friend/enemy, the Panda King. "Your dishonor seems to know no bounds, you pathetic rooster." He continued.

Tsou scoffed. "Well, a weakling who cannot protect his honor alone. What brings scum like you to this battle of great warriors?"

"Presently," the Panda king snarled, "the reason I am here is to drive your beak into the ground!"

"We will see, you semi evolved ursine!"

"You won't when we are finished, you weak flightless bird!"

Before the insult war could continue, another familiar voice was heard, only this time it was over the intercom.

"This is a shoutout to all the cool cats and dogs who are jammin' to this beat! The champ is showin' some style, so lets get down to the smackdown!"

Sly could never remember when hearing such a butchery of the English language was a good thing. Dimitri was somewhere in the stadium, at the same job that he had at the Barons tournament. This would be useful later.

"Bentley, do you here this?" he asked via binocucom.

"Loud and clear," came Bentley's voice. With that, all of the fighters filed down the hallways to the center ring for their first glimpse of the champion.

Chapter finished. You know, I have to fix more spelling mistakes for Dimitri then for Guru.

I am really sorry that the Updates are so slow. Should I just discontinue this?

And for anyone who cares, I am going to be writing a Star Fox fic soon.

C'ya


	8. Lucha Larceny 2

Holy monkeys, it's been ages since this has been updated, I can only pray that I'm more on track from now on.

Disclaimer: I do not own sly cooper and I never will.

On with da fic.

As the fighters walked down the hallway, Cooper was trying desperately to navigate through the crowd to the Panda King. It was difficult, as every single fighter in the hall seemed totally intent on getting to the inner ring and getting a glimpse of the champ. It didn't help that most of them were bigger than Sly. As one of them elbowed him in the face as he tried to squeeze by, he lost it.

"Ok, that's it!" He yelled. With that, he jumped on the head of the nearest fighter, and began to jump from person to person until he reached the Panda King, who eyed him strangely.

"Cooper." He said.

"King." Sly replied. They stared at each other in silence for a moment. Finally, Sly continued.

"Look, I hate to impose, but we need your help again." he said. " Look, I know that I don't like you, and you don't like me, but I really need this help, and-"

"Cooper, stop humiliating yourself, Bentley contacted me about this already." The Panda King replied calmly. "And I'll give you the same answer I gave him. My meditation revealed this place to me, told me that here, I could regain some of my lost honor. And as you can see, Tsou is standing right there. He dishonored me, so I must defeat him. But that is not all. The spirits have proclaimed that the Demon Bull must be defeated."

"Ok……" Sly replied. He had hoped that once, just once, he could ask someone for help, and they'd ask for money instead of an entire operation. But, obviously that kind of ease just wasn't in the cards for the Cooper Gang.

As the gladiators continued, they reached an opening in the tunnel, as they walked through, screams erupted from the audience inside. The inner ring lived up to it's reputation, looking like some kind of matador arena. The stands were full of screaming people, probably all crooks if the places rep was right. But one voice was magnified above the rest.

"Ladies and doods, I know you've been givin' a shout out for the bad, bad boss man o, this joint, so I won't be a square and keep him cooped! Say hello to the Lord of Lucha, the coolest cat in Spain, El Diablo Loco!!!!"

The crowd exploded with cheering. As they did, a gate on the other side of the arena opened. Out exploded a nightmare.

The huge bull that was now tearing around the arena was covered in rippling muscles. His horns were huge and sharp. He wore a brightly colored Lucha mask that covered his entire face, with the exception of his horns.

After he finished tearing around, he walked toward the center of the arena were Dimitri was standing and wrestled the mike out of his hands.

"Hello, fight lovers!" he yelled in a thick Spanish accent. "Thees ees the 10th semi annual Matador Fighting tournament! Are you ready for blood?"

"Yeah!" the spectators yelled.

"Are you ready for pain?"

"Yeah!"

"Are you ready to see so many beat downs that you wanna through up!?!?"

"Yeah!" they yelled a third time.

"Then you at the right place! Later tonight, don't were nice clothes, 'cause there ees goin' to be blood everywhere!"

The crowd cheered again, this time louder than ever before.

0000000000000000000000

"I really don't get these people." Sly mumbled to the Panda King. He didn't respond. Suddenly, Bentley began paging him via Binocucom.

"Since everyone's leaving for a while, you should take this opportunity to talk to Dimitri. He might be able to help." Sly walked up to Dimitri as he was exiting the room, who instantly noticed him.

"Well, if it isn't my main man Cooper! You puttin' the steal on this shindig?"

"Not really." Sly said. "We're actually here to get the Panda King for a job."

"Wait…I thought that you were strait and narrow, man. Oh, shaiza, is this a bust!?"

Sly just glared. "Remember that guy we were robbing on the last job?"

Dimitri grinned. "Heh, so M came back with the putdown and the payback, do I dig right?"

"You dig more than right, Dimitri. He got the book."

"Shaiza!" Dimitri yelled. " I feel your hurt, bro."

Sly smiled. "If you do……mind helping with the next job?"

Dimitri grinned again. "If I wasn't cruisin' this beat, I'd jump faster than a fish on the dance floor. But this contract is real sweet, with the bling and the ching, y'dig?"

Sly frowned. "Then what can I do to convince you?"

Dimitri thought for a moment, then smiled. "Dimitri puts big bets on the hot Cooper coon, Cooper wins, and Dimitri is rollin' in the bling!"

Sly grinned. "Ok, Dimitri, now you're jamming to a bling I can swing to!" He said in a mockery of Dimitri's voice.

Dimitri snarled. "Man, you cannot capture the essence of Dimitri. It's like smoke, untouchable, and everywere!"

Sly just laughed.

_Ok, gang, I've looked at the win/loss scale of this champ and have come to a conclusion…we're going to have to cheat. Now, our advantage is that the next match is a free-for-all between everyone but the champ, and we've only entered Sly. The four left at the end go on to the next round. Murray, I'll need you to disguise yourself as one of the fighters, crack some skulls, and pretend to lose against Sly._

_Dimitri has also informed me that the stadium uses holograms to generate battlefields. We should take advantage of this and have the Guru and Penelope take down some others. We're all set for the first job now. Good luck._

Ok, finally an update I'm sorry for the Dimitri speak, it can't be avoided.


End file.
